I (27F) am seeing this guy (32M) that I met on a dating app 3 times this week. Is it moving too fast? I am very inexperienced in dating. I don't want to make mistakes at the start of a relationship.

I was out of a LDR/LTR of 5 years a month ago. It was a mutual break up. And since then I have been working on better myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, explore new hobbies. I am also taking time off work, so I have lots time on my hand to have fun and self improve.

Anyway, after the break up, I was on a dating app looking to meet new people/fun dates/fwb, but nothing serious. It's my first time using dating app, and I had a few meh dates and some fwbs. Nothing really worth mentioning. I have been very careful about separating sex and emotional attachments.

Getting back on topic, last week I matched with this really cute guy, my type 100% (I know it's superficial, but he is really beautiful for fwb.) While we exchanged texts, he was respective, honest, straightforward and attentive. We went on first date this Monday for a drink. He is even more beautiful in person, and a total gentleman, funny, caring and understanding. We have similarities, and it was an instant connection. But I was open and honest about my situation, and I was looking to have fun and open to see where things goes. And he was a bit disappointed since he was looking for relationship but still down to see where things might go. The date lasted for about 1.5 hr. He offered to give me a ride home, but I was cautious and I politely declined. The date ended with good night kiss. And, no joke, I was sold on that kiss. He jokingly said, "text me okay? don't ghost me. " (Just off the topic, fuck ghosters.) Maybe because I was pulling back a bit during the date so that I don't overshare or get attached, and he thought I was going to ghost him? But I was never going to do that.

Anyway, I thought about it on my walk home, and I wanted to see him again. He proposed to go out for dinner the next day, and I gently suggested that we eat dinner at his place and he agreed. Okay, I was looking to have fun, and if the sex doesn't work, why even "see where things go" right?

So Tuesday afternoon I went over to his place. Our chemistry just very on point. Afterwards, he asked me if I am seeing other guys and how many. So, I told him the truth, and he was visibly holding back sadness, and said, okay, as long as you are being safe. My heart sunk a little, because I could see he was sad because of what I said. Okay, I am having fun/exploring, some people may judge my morals, but I am not some cruel monster. We stayed silent and watched tv show for a bit, then I asked him if he wants to see each other exclusively. He said, he would love that, but he also knows that I m just out of a LTR and he respects what I need to do to explore/get over, and he doesn't want to put pressure on me to do anything that I didn't want to do. I said, I am okay with stop exploring, because I don't want to ruin what we have right now by getting with other people. And I promised him right then and there that I will cut contact with other people and I did the next day. I left on Wednesday morning.

It has been almost 36 hours since we last saw each other. He will text me when he gets off work tonight and I am going to see him and staying over again. Today is Thursday.

Now, I have never been in better mental/emotional/physical health stages in my life. I am 100% know what I want in life. I am 100% sure that what I need to do better in relationships. My dilemma is that, I was with the same guy since I was 22, and little dating experience before that. I was very immature, and we never did the "dating dance". Okay there is never supposed to be a "dance or game", but I never learn the "normal/actual" dating things.

And with this guy, there is never any games, no texting games, no hide and seek, no guessing, no any games, and the feeling is mutual between us, which is mentally relaxing. I think that I have finally learnt and did the right things for the first time, for the beginning of a relationship with another person.

I want to use this free time that I have to build a good foundation for a relationship if possible, or learn as much as I can in dating. Doesn't matter how this relationship ends, I want to do every step the correct way. As I am typing this out, I think the best solution is to discuss this with him? But are we moving too fast? What if he/me/us burnout ?

​

TL;DR: I met this guy last week, and saw him Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and going to see him on Thursday in a few hours. Everything feels right with him, I don't want to ruin ANYTHING! But are we moving too fast? What if he/me/us burnout ?



Submitted April 22, 2022 at 12:16AM

I was out of a LDR/LTR of 5 years a month ago. It was a mutual break up. And since then I have been working on better myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, explore new hobbies. I am also taking time off work, so I have lots time on my hand to have fun and self improve.Anyway, after the break up, I was on a dating app looking to meet new people/fun dates/fwb, but nothing serious. It's my first time using dating app, and I had a few meh dates and some fwbs. Nothing really worth mentioning. I have been very careful about separating sex and emotional attachments.Getting back on topic, last week I matched with this really cute guy, my type 100% (I know it's superficial, but he is really beautiful for fwb.) While we exchanged texts, he was respective, honest, straightforward and attentive. We went on first date this Monday for a drink. He is even more beautiful in person, and a total gentleman, funny, caring and understanding. We have similarities, and it was an instant connection. But I was open and honest about my situation, and I was looking to have fun and open to see where things goes. And he was a bit disappointed since he was looking for relationship but still down to see where things might go. The date lasted for about 1.5 hr. He offered to give me a ride home, but I was cautious and I politely declined. The date ended with good night kiss. And, no joke, I was sold on that kiss. He jokingly said, "text me okay? don't ghost me. " (Just off the topic, fuck ghosters.) Maybe because I was pulling back a bit during the date so that I don't overshare or get attached, and he thought I was going to ghost him? But I was never going to do that.Anyway, I thought about it on my walk home, and I wanted to see him again. He proposed to go out for dinner the next day, and I gently suggested that we eat dinner at his place and he agreed. Okay, I was looking to have fun, and if the sex doesn't work, why even "see where things go" right?So Tuesday afternoon I went over to his place. Our chemistry just very on point. Afterwards, he asked me if I am seeing other guys and how many. So, I told him the truth, and he was visibly holding back sadness, and said, okay, as long as you are being safe. My heart sunk a little, because I could see he was sad because of what I said. Okay, I am having fun/exploring, some people may judge my morals, but I am not some cruel monster. We stayed silent and watched tv show for a bit, then I asked him if he wants to see each other exclusively. He said, he would love that, but he also knows that I m just out of a LTR and he respects what I need to do to explore/get over, and he doesn't want to put pressure on me to do anything that I didn't want to do. I said, I am okay with stop exploring, because I don't want to ruin what we have right now by getting with other people. And I promised him right then and there that I will cut contact with other people and I did the next day. I left on Wednesday morning.It has been almost 36 hours since we last saw each other. He will text me when he gets off work tonight and I am going to see him and staying over again. Today is Thursday.Now, I have never been in better mental/emotional/physical health stages in my life. I am 100% know what I want in life. I am 100% sure that what I need to do better in relationships. My dilemma is that, I was with the same guy since I was 22, and little dating experience before that. I was very immature, and we never did the "dating dance". Okay there is never supposed to be a "dance or game", but I never learn the "normal/actual" dating things.And with this guy, there is never any games, no texting games, no hide and seek, no guessing, no any games, and the feeling is mutual between us, which is mentally relaxing. I think that I have finally learnt and did the right things for the first time, for the beginning of a relationship with another person.I want to use this free time that I have to build a good foundation for a relationship if possible, or learn as much as I can in dating. Doesn't matter how this relationship ends, I want to do every step the correct way. As I am typing this out, I think the best solution is to discuss this with him? But are we moving too fast? What if he/me/us burnout ?​TL;DR: I met this guy last week, and saw him Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and going to see him on Thursday in a few hours. Everything feels right with him, I don't want to ruin ANYTHING! But are we moving too fast? What if he/me/us burnout ?
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