Why would he (24M) ghost me (22F) after giving me mono? How do I move on?

I (22F) met this guy (24M), let's call him Bob, on the dating app Hinge back in October and we went on a few dates. The first date was pretty meh and I thought we wouldn't go on another one. But we did go on a second date and slept together (initiated by him). I was basically a virgin at this time so I wasn't expecting that to happen. After a few dates, he confessed that he was not interested in an actual relationship for various reasons (just got out of a relationship, has commitment issues, doesn't want to disappoint me, is unstable due to having bipolar II, etc) and says we should start off as friends and take things slow.

Well we ended up continuing to do relationshippy things. We would have "date nights" (he used that term, not me) and would go to restaurants and museums and we would of course sleep together and kiss each other goodbye and do whatever couples typically do. He also wanted to meet my friends and make a good impression on them, so I made that happen.

He's not great at communication, and this has led to him, for example, not showing up to a concert that we were supposed to go to together (I already got the tickets and was in line when he finally told me he was too overwhelmed/busy to come). But a couple weeks ago, he told me that he's really sorry for all the times he's hurt me and that he will do better.

Well I was feeling sick about a week ago, and went to urgent care. They drew my blood and told me I tested positive for mono (mononucleosis, the "kissing disease", transmitted via saliva). I told Bob about this over text, and he said that his friend had mono a month ago. I asked if this "friend" was his ex-girlfriend who he likes to talk about all the time, and he said yes. So I asked him if he was having relations with his ex-girlfriend (which would've caused him to pick up mono, carry it asymptomatically, and give it to me) and he affirmed that this was the case. He had originally told me he was only seeing me, so that was disappointing to hear.

But I didn't express anger, in fact, I apologized for even bringing up the topic of his ex-girlfriend, because I didn't want to make him sad. Despite this, he stopped responding to my messages (we usually talk every day and it's been about a week). I've tried calling him many times and he doesn't respond. (I know he's alive because I see him listening to music on spotify). I don't understand why this would cause him to run away. I'm sad. What is going on in his brain? How do I move on when I still hope every day that he will contact me? I'm a lonely person and have never been in a relationship, so this is the closest to that kind of emotional/physical intimacy I've gotten. And I miss it.

Submitted March 07, 2022 at 01:11AM

I (22F) met this guy (24M), let's call him Bob, on the dating app Hinge back in October and we went on a few dates. The first date was pretty meh and I thought we wouldn't go on another one. But we did go on a second date and slept together (initiated by him). I was basically a virgin at this time so I wasn't expecting that to happen. After a few dates, he confessed that he was not interested in an actual relationship for various reasons (just got out of a relationship, has commitment issues, doesn't want to disappoint me, is unstable due to having bipolar II, etc) and says we should start off as friends and take things slow.Well we ended up continuing to do relationshippy things. We would have "date nights" (he used that term, not me) and would go to restaurants and museums and we would of course sleep together and kiss each other goodbye and do whatever couples typically do. He also wanted to meet my friends and make a good impression on them, so I made that happen.He's not great at communication, and this has led to him, for example, not showing up to a concert that we were supposed to go to together (I already got the tickets and was in line when he finally told me he was too overwhelmed/busy to come). But a couple weeks ago, he told me that he's really sorry for all the times he's hurt me and that he will do better.Well I was feeling sick about a week ago, and went to urgent care. They drew my blood and told me I tested positive for mono (mononucleosis, the "kissing disease", transmitted via saliva). I told Bob about this over text, and he said that his friend had mono a month ago. I asked if this "friend" was his ex-girlfriend who he likes to talk about all the time, and he said yes. So I asked him if he was having relations with his ex-girlfriend (which would've caused him to pick up mono, carry it asymptomatically, and give it to me) and he affirmed that this was the case. He had originally told me he was only seeing me, so that was disappointing to hear.But I didn't express anger, in fact, I apologized for even bringing up the topic of his ex-girlfriend, because I didn't want to make him sad. Despite this, he stopped responding to my messages (we usually talk every day and it's been about a week). I've tried calling him many times and he doesn't respond. (I know he's alive because I see him listening to music on spotify). I don't understand why this would cause him to run away. I'm sad. What is going on in his brain? How do I move on when I still hope every day that he will contact me? I'm a lonely person and have never been in a relationship, so this is the closest to that kind of emotional/physical intimacy I've gotten. And I miss it.