He’s cancelled the first date… twice

I (31f) met a dude(25m) online in late February. We hit it off amazingly well, like multiple messages a day for two weeks, big long paragraphs from both of us, compatible in every way we thought to discuss. Both just wanted casual but regular fun, no meeting the parents/friends/etc or expectation of moving in, etc. I don’t want marriage or kids or anything and he’s still at an age where I’m confident he won’t switcheroo on me about it being casual (had that happen before, it sucked).

We arranged to meet up on Sunday early March. I was so excited, he seemed into it, got to like 45 minutes before he was supposed to rock up… and then he cancelled. He’d been out with friends the night before, they suggested grabbing lunch, he accepted. I was like “for real?” Bit upset. Very disappointed. He later apologised properly, told me they were very old friends he hadn’t seen in a long time. I was slightly mollified. Then he said he needed a break from the entire site we met on and went radio silent for like a week and a half. I was expecting not to hear from him for months, if at all ever again.

So we started chatting again, he was keen to meet up, we said last Friday. I was excited, he seemed excited… and then the girl I live with tested positive for COVID. Ffs. I was crushed, he seemed disappointed too. Not gonna risk it though. He immediately said he was available the same time next week, aka today.

You can see where this is going by now, I’m sure… tbh I called it on Tuesday but in a joking way in my head, like “wouldn’t it just suck if…”

He’s just messaged to cancel again because of a family thing. I don’t even know what to make of this all. What do I do? I really like him. If I could just see him once or twice a month indefinitely without the pressure of taking things further, I’d be a very happy lady. But it’s starting to feel like more effort than it’s gonna be worth. We haven’t called or anything because he’s nervous of giving out his number until after we’ve met. I’m okay with that but also it sucks getting excited only to be let down again every time. Last week wasn’t on him but emotionally it still hit wrong.

What are your thoughts? Should I give him another chance, am I being fucked around, is he a dickhead I’m only half picking up the red flags from..? I never get a nasty vibe from him, but I know from experience it’s not just nastiness that can tank a friendship.

Submitted April 01, 2022 at 12:07AM

I (31f) met a dude(25m) online in late February. We hit it off amazingly well, like multiple messages a day for two weeks, big long paragraphs from both of us, compatible in every way we thought to discuss. Both just wanted casual but regular fun, no meeting the parents/friends/etc or expectation of moving in, etc. I don’t want marriage or kids or anything and he’s still at an age where I’m confident he won’t switcheroo on me about it being casual (had that happen before, it sucked).We arranged to meet up on Sunday early March. I was so excited, he seemed into it, got to like 45 minutes before he was supposed to rock up… and then he cancelled. He’d been out with friends the night before, they suggested grabbing lunch, he accepted. I was like “for real?” Bit upset. Very disappointed. He later apologised properly, told me they were very old friends he hadn’t seen in a long time. I was slightly mollified. Then he said he needed a break from the entire site we met on and went radio silent for like a week and a half. I was expecting not to hear from him for months, if at all ever again.So we started chatting again, he was keen to meet up, we said last Friday. I was excited, he seemed excited… and then the girl I live with tested positive for COVID. Ffs. I was crushed, he seemed disappointed too. Not gonna risk it though. He immediately said he was available the same time next week, aka today.You can see where this is going by now, I’m sure… tbh I called it on Tuesday but in a joking way in my head, like “wouldn’t it just suck if…”He’s just messaged to cancel again because of a family thing. I don’t even know what to make of this all. What do I do? I really like him. If I could just see him once or twice a month indefinitely without the pressure of taking things further, I’d be a very happy lady. But it’s starting to feel like more effort than it’s gonna be worth. We haven’t called or anything because he’s nervous of giving out his number until after we’ve met. I’m okay with that but also it sucks getting excited only to be let down again every time. Last week wasn’t on him but emotionally it still hit wrong.What are your thoughts? Should I give him another chance, am I being fucked around, is he a dickhead I’m only half picking up the red flags from..? I never get a nasty vibe from him, but I know from experience it’s not just nastiness that can tank a friendship.