My GF can't blow me and it kills me

First girlfriend in several years. We have known each other for a while, but only started dating early this year. Sex was great the first bit, but one day I asked if she would blow me, and she seemed excited to try.

We'd see each other on weekends, she kept telling me she'd do it next weekend, 4 or 5 weeks in a row. Then she finally told me she would do it that night, and when the time came I asked if she still wanted to, she didn't.

I was not upset at all, I could tell from how she said it earlier that day that it wasn't going to happen. But I was disappointed. I wish she would have just told me she wouldn't at the time. I think she knew just as I did.

Fast forward a few more months, we've talked about it a bit and she says she can't bring herself to. She was in an abusive relationship before and he forced her to do that, so now that she's in another relationship she just can't.

It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, that I'm not making her feel safe. But I know if I kept asking her, she actually wouldn't feel safe and that would be a problem. I don't want that to happen, I love her too much.

I don't know what to do.



Submitted December 17, 2021 at 12:54AM

First girlfriend in several years. We have known each other for a while, but only started dating early this year. Sex was great the first bit, but one day I asked if she would blow me, and she seemed excited to try.We'd see each other on weekends, she kept telling me she'd do it next weekend, 4 or 5 weeks in a row. Then she finally told me she would do it that night, and when the time came I asked if she still wanted to, she didn't.I was not upset at all, I could tell from how she said it earlier that day that it wasn't going to happen. But I was disappointed. I wish she would have just told me she wouldn't at the time. I think she knew just as I did.Fast forward a few more months, we've talked about it a bit and she says she can't bring herself to. She was in an abusive relationship before and he forced her to do that, so now that she's in another relationship she just can't.It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, that I'm not making her feel safe. But I know if I kept asking her, she actually wouldn't feel safe and that would be a problem. I don't want that to happen, I love her too much.I don't know what to do.
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