How do you get over knowing that you're not as good at oral as S/O's ex?

I recently found out that my s/o (M) said to a friend in a message that he liked receiving oral from his ex more. Obviously im hurt by this, as he told me the opposite, and also acts like im doing this amazing job during it. I've always been told by every guy im with that im the best, and I take pride in my skills. I know that not every person is the same, and I can make adjustments to what they like without being offended. I even asked him and he said it was perfect and amazing.

I know that there's nothing that he or I can say to make me feel better. But how am i even supposed to have sex with him again? All I will think about is how she's better. And I wont be able to believe his moans/reactions to me when I do it, knowing that it's not good enough. He even said I probably wouldn't be able to make him cum which also stung... it just feels like our whole sex life is a lie now 😭 Obviously he apologized, and I wasn't supposed to know about this (it was shown to me by said friend because they are not a good friend and wanted us to fight i guess)

Anyway. tl;dr how can i move past this? I dont want to never do oral again, but even if he gives me suggestions to be better, how could I ever believe that it is good enough? Will I always just feel second-rate? Do I just have to accept it?



Submitted November 28, 2021 at 12:50AM

I recently found out that my s/o (M) said to a friend in a message that he liked receiving oral from his ex more. Obviously im hurt by this, as he told me the opposite, and also acts like im doing this amazing job during it. I've always been told by every guy im with that im the best, and I take pride in my skills. I know that not every person is the same, and I can make adjustments to what they like without being offended. I even asked him and he said it was perfect and amazing.I know that there's nothing that he or I can say to make me feel better. But how am i even supposed to have sex with him again? All I will think about is how she's better. And I wont be able to believe his moans/reactions to me when I do it, knowing that it's not good enough. He even said I probably wouldn't be able to make him cum which also stung... it just feels like our whole sex life is a lie now 😭 Obviously he apologized, and I wasn't supposed to know about this (it was shown to me by said friend because they are not a good friend and wanted us to fight i guess)Anyway. tl;dr how can i move past this? I dont want to never do oral again, but even if he gives me suggestions to be better, how could I ever believe that it is good enough? Will I always just feel second-rate? Do I just have to accept it?
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