/u/TheRantDragon on All right I've been thinking

(28F here) I think for me, that sex exists almost in some sort of fictional realm. I'm on the aegosexual side, meaning I can enjoy it from a detached, fictional sense, especially if it's between characters in a show that I ship and adore, etc.

It's hard for me to think about sex in a more... grounded sense. It just seems so foreign to me I guess. I think I'm just neutral about it mostly because for me it largely exists as this fictional concept... it's this nice, supposedly pleasant thing between people in fiction, where everything is designed to be fairly perfect to some degree and most of the more gross realistic parts of sex are sort of glossed over, but when I try to think about it in real life, or try to think about it in regards to myself, there's this disconnect.

In a way I'm not entirely sure how far from neutral to repulsed I am on the sex spectrum because I find it hard to actually sit and really, really consider EXACTLY what sex is and how it works. If that makes sense. For instance, kissing is an abstract thing to me that I enjoy, again, in a fictional space, and don't usually think twice about. However, on the occasion that I do take the time to stop and contemplate what kissing REALLY is, I sometimes feel disgusted at the idea of having a persons mouth on mine, regardless of the connection there. I don't find the concept of someone's nasty mouth being on mine to be pleasant, and swapping saliva during the process sounds extra gross. Mouths are gross and saliva is gross. (also might be weird but the thought of having someone's body or face that awkwardly close to mine makes me feel uncomfortable)

I consider myself neutral to mildly repulsed by sex. I am curious that if I could think about sex in a less detached way, if I would lean more toward repulsed. (being an ace with a libido and being aego also makes this really hard to pinpoint... it's just a confusing thing.) In theory the general motion of sex sounds like it would feel good, but I'm not so sure about in practice, especially considering the lack of nerves inside that particular area, and a few other factors. I can IMAGINE it feeling good, but I don't think I necessarily believe it really would be for me. (and have little desire to find out)

This might not be helpful to you, but just thought I'd share.





January 05, 2021 at 11:38PM
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