/u/ElGatitoMalo on I'm still struggling with what sexual attraction is...

Well to focus on the concept of sexual attraction,

Sexual attraction is sexual arousal. You experience a stimulus that's sexually appealing to you, you get aroused, to some extent (can be physical, mental, or both) and on the basis of that arousal you want that stimulus more. Getting the stimulus results in a positive feedback loop.

For straight men, that stimulus is typically visual. It's women. Large breasts, small waist-to-hip ratio, youth, symmetrical face, etc.

If you've only got a sexual kink, you're not necessarily going to get that stimulus, that cue, in the same contexts as "regular" people. E.g. if you're a latex fetishist, you can go to a regular nightclub, but nobody's wearing latex. If you're into dom/sub stuff, well everyone interacts in polite society as equals. Etc.





December 02, 2020 at 11:36PM
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