/u/gabrielwoj on Sexuality is a wild ride

(Male) I first thought I liked girls, however I entered with some online relationships with guys and I didn't mind.

Then I thought I wanted to be a transgender girl and love girls, but I dropped the idea of being transgender due to a few things that I'm still unsure about transition.

During the same time that I thought being transgender, I started to like guys and girls regardless of their gender or sex (in other words, I thought I was pansexual)

All these times I thought relationship just meant being together with someone and spend time with our loved ones. It was only recently (about a year ago) that sexuality also applied to who I wanted to have sex with.

I talked a lot about sexuality on my therapy, and it's possible that my lack of sexual interest comes to the lack of sex-related topics discussion on my family throughout my life. As well that I didn't understood it completely what "sexuality" meant.

Well... I came back in liking girls, but I wouldn't mind being on a relationship with a guy if we agreed to not have sex. Shortly after, I started to get the appeal of femboys, and I wanted to be in a relationship with someone, but I was always afraid if we would have sex.

Through my life, I always thought I was asexual because I didn't had any sexual attraction and I would feel pretty much nothing when it comes to meeting the "girl of my life".

I met a girl on college that I liked her a lot, but even so I barely ever thought of having sex with her. I wanted to be in a love relationship with her, but apparently she already had someone, so I didn't do anything.

The only sex-related thing I thought through all those years, is if my partner wouldn't mind of my sexual fetish and would participate with me, but it's not really sex, it's masturbation (as it doesn't necessarily has to evolve two people).

What is my fetish? Well, nowadays I'm much more confident in saying out in the public, so here it goes: I have a fetish for balloons.

So, nowadays, I'd date with someone just to be together with someone on my life, regardless if that person would accept my fetish or not (I'm 100% okay if not any of my partners practice my fetish with me, since I can do alone by myself).

After a long discussion with my therapist, telling her that I had 0% interest in sex and that there was barely anything on a person that would be attractive to me, I considered myself asexual from now on. Finally knowing my sexuality makes me very happy.

July 22, 2020 at 11:59PM