I mean this in the best way, but do not associate physical arousal with desire, especially when you're sharing intimacy with that person. I feel like this is an incredibly important distinction to be made when this topic comes up, and it's also the plight of many a male asexual. Being relaxed, simple physical touch (in the case of being touch starved especially), nervousness, and even just the wind blowing right are all causes of them. May 23, 2023 at 01:11AM

Most of my younger days I was desperate to find a companion. I felt like I needed one to feel whole. I tried and failed most of my teens and young adulthood to find a woman who would love me. After years of desperation I finally found someone at the ripe age of 26. After 2.5 years it crashed and burned and I got stuck in this terrible dating pool again. I took a break to heal but after a while I gave it another go. And what I realized that dating is even more toxic and mentally destructive than I remembered. And what I finally realized after 30 years is that I don’t need anyone else to be happy. I do just fine on my own. Always have. I’m done letting other’s opinions of me drag me down. If no one else wants to love me, I’ll love me. It’s that simple. It’s that easy. You guys can all have each other. I’m tapping out. Submitted May 23, 2023 at 02:12AM Most of my younger days I was desperate to find a companion. I felt like I needed one to feel whole. I tried and failed most of my...

I’m officially done with dating anyway but I was reflecting and notice behavior with SOME men I’ve spoken to. My ex (5 years ago) used to say, “you probably wouldn’t want me.” Then I helped him go to therapy because he was severely depressed. He had a lot of issues which I get we all do, but eventually it became too much because I was dedicating majority of my time to make sure he’s ok. Then I swiped with some guy on tinder a long time ago and the first thing he says is, “I’m too ugly, why would you want to talk to me?” I unmatched because he was really putting himself down so much to the point it was annoying. Then if you read my last post on this subreddit, this guy says, I wouldn’t want him anyway because he’s, “pretty messed up.” I have a few more stories but I’m not typing all of that. I notice a trend but here’s my theory… I think it’s a manipulation tactic to get me to feel sorry for them? And it worked 😭 at least for my ex it worked lol. I should seek therapy myself becaus...

Maybe ask the therapist if they know what the A in LGBTIAPQ+ stands for to see how educated they are May 23, 2023 at 12:17AM

Hey y’all, I need help with something because I’m really not sure how to proceed in this situation. So, a little background, I planned a vacation/family visit in another city a few weeks ago. Last week I was a little bored and decided to download a dating app to meet people from this destination, make some connections, maybe set up dates/hangout with locals and etc. I [29F] matched with this guy [33M] who told me that he would actually be visiting my city for a few days with friends. He didn’t invite me to do anything right away, but we chatted a little throughout the weekend and ended up setting up a coffee “date” (still not sure if it was a date date or just handing out to meet irl). It was fun enough and I walked him to the place he was staying. We exchanged phone numbers and planned that when I visit his city, a few weeks from now, we’d go get cocktails, hiking and some fun stuff. He texted me saying he had a good time and I said likewise. So, I don’t know if I should try maki...

Amen. Also hetro-romantic here. Male attention is a hell of a drug May 22, 2023 at 01:17AM

My partner (m 48) is a well known sex therapist in our area and I (f 33) develop software/websites and run my own business. We met in 2017. We are driven, intellectual, and sensitive people, but we are just not getting along. I’d love some help. He is stoic. I am expressive. He has “fatigue.” I can stay up for 98 hours straight working on something. He could have sex once a month and be fine. I want it 3-5 times a week. We were poly and he shut it down to mono 2 years ago. Then I gained 20 lbs and he said he wasn’t attracted to me. We barely have sex now and always in the dark. I’m directly writing this post after he walked in on me masturbating - he hasn’t before. I was going to be very quick after my shower. He left the room after giving me a kiss. And is now watching American Idol. He didn’t ask to join. He didn’t invite me to watch Idol with him. I feel like he’s avoidant and just want to understand how to handle him better because he’s bright, funny, and practical, and wort...