https://ift.tt/2ZFRKsQ Submitted August 06, 2019 at 12:08AM https://ift.tt/2ZFRKsQ

Delurking because so am I! I’ve been told (in really graphic, unwanted terms) that I’m pretty good at it. August 06, 2019 at 12:16AM

I think there's a key difference between someone being asexual and being welcome in the asexual community. A person's asexuality/allosexuality is a purely personal thing that depends on the answer to the question "do you feel sexual attraction for other human beings?" Any person's honest answer to that question is valid. That doesn't mean that a group organized around asexuality has to embrace everyone who is asexual. A person who does not feel sexual attraction--but wants to have sex because they see it as crucial to their social status and is frustrated because society is not giving them the sex they believe they deserve for their social status--would still be asexual. However, no space (e.g. this subreddit) would have to tolerate their toxic viewpoints just because an asexual person on this planet believes it. It'd be like a homophobic gay person: the fact they're homophobic doesn't make them less gay, but it absolutely means queer spaces do...

If you say grey-romanticism doesn't adequately capture what you're feeling, quoiromanticism is a term that could help. Here's a quote from AVEN's wiki : Reasons for identifying with WTF/quoiromanticism may include feeling neither romantic nor aromantic, finding the concept of romantic attraction to be confusing, finding the romantic/nonromantic distinction to be inaccessible in some way, or not seeing the lines between romance and friendship. I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for, but I guess there's another word to identify with besides allo, aro, grey, and demi. August 06, 2019 at 12:11AM

Romantic attraction is related to who you’d want to be romantically involved with. You should look at all the crushes you have had and see what was similar about them. If they are the same gender then you may be hetrom or homorom. If their genders were varying then you may be birom or panrom. But looking at your own crushes could be limiting, look at the people around you and ask yourself if you’d want to be romantic with them. Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum so I can be difficult to pin point August 06, 2019 at 12:11AM

I know what meaningful touch is, I just don't do it often enough for my wife. I want to, I want her, but for some reason I just don't do it often. There are other psychological issues at play that I'm trying to get help for, after 15 years. But I want to start something now! Are there any tips and tricks? Does anyone set an alarm or a timer, is that wrong to want to use an app or timer? Help! Submitted August 06, 2019 at 12:17AM I know what meaningful touch is, I just don't do it often enough for my wife. I want to, I want her, but for some reason I just don't do it often. There are other psychological issues at play that I'm trying to get help for, after 15 years. But I want to start something now! Are there any tips and tricks? Does anyone set an alarm or a timer, is that wrong to want to use an app or timer?Help!

The step you are on now is primary, the goal is secondary. I know this to be true, yet it’s hard to accept it when it comes to being single and dating. Dating is exhausting and frustrating. I do try to concentrate on the good parts- like I enjoy meeting new people and having new experiences, and I like flirting and getting positive attention. But still, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to. In the back of my mind, I just want a relationship. I know intellectually, it’s a fallacy: If I get a relationship, then I’ll be happy. I’m happy now honestly and I know it won’t necessarily make me any happier to be in a relationship. But yet I want one so badly!!! At this age, I feel like time is running out (biologically) to find someone and have a family. So it’s hard not to concentrate on the goal. Dating is a means to an end, but it shouldn’t be! Life is now, and now I’m single and dating, so I need to accept that and try to enjoy it. But howwwww? Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:56PM ...